Destiny’s Love, the desolate twist.

I lived my life in a way I thought was the most agreeable in the eyes of men. Having a reputation I was protecting. Most people respected me at home, and even now they do but they lack the knowledge of what going on in my life at the moment. When I first joined the institution of higher learning I was happy because everybody knew my life was taking a good turn. Having been raised in a Christian family I had principles and I trusted myself to hold on to them through the four years I was to spend in the campus. It is true when they say that; you can never know how strong you are until you have gone through trials successfully. The world was receiving me quick to its ups and downs. My mother was no longer there for me to know at what time I got back to the house and the kind of friends I would hang out with. I was left to show them all just how much I was capable of running my life alone.

I vividly recall the girl I was back in high school, so afraid of men, even during the social days, science congresses and sports day I tried all my best to keep away from boys. Yes …I did not have a boyfriend because I believed it was wrong. Even the few times I talked to boys over the phone my mother never took it so nicely, she would spend hours squad ding me over the issue and warning over pre mature pregnancies. If you have a mother like mine you probably hate her….because you think she is being too much or rather over parenting. In my case I believed no one could make you do what you never wanted to do.

(IN MATTERS OF STYLE SWIM WITH THE CURRENT, IN MATTERS OF PRINCIPLES STAND LIKE A ROCK) Even after having that as my slogan in a long time, it has come to my knowledge that i really never knew the differences between style and principles. Bachelor of Science in Architecture is the course I was placed in the University of Nairobi to pursue. And so, this day our institution was holding the annual trade fair as it always does every year. This is always meant to expose the students in their field of study mainly the students in the school of art where I belonged.

At this particular trade fair, I meet a guy, I gave him my mobile phone number because that is what I always did when guys asked for my number. Not because I wanted to talk to them but because they asked, then later I would ignore them and move on with the business of life. He called me a number of times later, I could not recognize the voice but I promise you, you would have fallen in love with it too, I did. He wanted to see me but I lied about having to sit for my continuous assessment tests. I was hoping he would give up but he never did. So I thought why don’t I see him and get done with it. And I let him come to my place ….then later we saw each other a couple of times.

One day, not so long after our first meeting, he came over and asked me to go with him to his house….foolishly I followed him. On that night I did one thing I had promised myself not to do. I felt dirty, obscene and all anyone in my place could have felt at the time……”what do you expect when you spend a night in a man’s house?” That is the question I got from him much later in our relationship. I knew it was a stupid decision but I had gone with him anyway.