I am having a bad day. I woke up this morning, and I don’t remember having breakfast. I had lunch, but I still feel a certain way. My best friend is attending a funeral; she wouldn’t want me to say it like that, but I don’t know how to say it. I feel like a terrible friend. I have failed my friend. I don’t know how to feel, so I have been indoors crying. People say so many things about adult friendships, but this is different. She is my sister,the one person who truly gets me, and I am not with her today. I don’t know how to process these feelings, so I am going to write because that is my language. Theres a thing we do together to process things. We let the other figure it out, and then when you are ready, we talk about it. My soul is crushed right now. I don’t know how to express these feelings. I truly hope she knows that I wanted to be there—to cry with her,to question the whole universe,to scream into something. Damn adulting,damn responsibilities, damn death, damn all of it. Sweetheart, I am sorry life has dealt you a proper one this year. I am sorry that I am not there to hold your hand. I am sorry that you had to do this by yourself. Mourn your brother, baby girl; mourn your person; cry your heart out. Feel the pain and live this moment. You aren’t alone. I love you so much.
Chirywrites
- Post author:Consolata Chepchirchir
- Post last modified:January 5, 2024
- Post category:Life Stories
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- Reading time:2 mins read