A friendship is only as strong as the grace to handle it.
Friendship is not for the weak, let alone true friendship. Genuine friendship requires a capacity to be able to handle it. And it is not necessarily inborn. By nature, human beings can sometimes be selfish. Going into things looking for what we can get from it rather than what we can also give. Nothing wrong with having expectations, but your expectations can’t always be about yourself; being self-centred. Yes of course there are people who may be more inclined to being loyal than others, but there are times in which even the loyal ones can be selfish. Any relationship requires work and this includes friendship. And some of this work you have to build capacity for it. Yes, loyalty may be your strong point but in some areas that are required of the friendship you may not have capacity for. Therefore, you build it.
True friendship is not for the faint of heart, to be able to handle first your own strengths and weaknesses and then add on your friend’s, requires work. It requires you to build the capacity for this. Loyalty is part of friendship and not the wrong kind where you can’t tell a friend when they are wrong. This means the loyalty is not just for the sake of being loyal, it is for a higher purpose. You can’t just see your friend suffering say in a romantic relationship that is abusive and be quiet about it. True friendship is to call them higher, to call them to see themselves in a better light. Friendship is definitely multi-dimensional; it is not just based on one aspect. At least the good kind of friendships.
In a true and genuine friendship, parties involved hold each other to a higher standard. They all want the best for each other. It is not based on competition and jealousy. Yes, each of the party’s virtue of being human will at some points do wrong. But a genuine friendship is able to get through such times of tension.
Ture friendship calls for maturity. Maturity to be able to handle the good and the bad times. The difficult and challenging times as well as the times of bliss. Not to abandon each other in times of need and only show up when it is good times, good vibes. Yes, we may have people in our lives who are like that, it is important to recognize that they probably won’t help you in times of need. And to be okay with it and set boundaries. If they are close like a family member, place them on the periphery of your life. Don’t tell them your business, just relate on a basic level if you must. But then for your inner circle give room to people who are true friends; those who are mature enough to handle a friendship.
Not every person is mature enough to handle a true and genuine friendship and that’s okay. Maybe they will mature at some point to be able to, but they can’t be in your inner circle. This is not a call to necessarily cut people off, it is a call to prioritize the right people in your life. To be intentional in order to avoid unnecessary hurt. With all that said, some people may need to be completely cut off because you have tried to get to them in vain. Then you carefully analyse and do the needful. For example, in extreme cases of financial, mental, emotional abuse etc., you may have to take extreme measures. But these people are usually not the majority. For normal cases just set boundaries. Which could include not visiting some places to avoid bumping into someone.
True and genuine friendship needs you to first level up on an individual level, which will then overflow to your friendships.
True friendship is beautiful