Does your Friendship Have Aligned Values

Does your Friendship Have Aligned Values


Your companionship will last as long as your values align.

We have seen many friendships drift apart and some even end and we’ve wondered why. We have probably even been in similar friendships that drifted apart or that ended. What could cause a friendship that seemed or that was so solid at some point to drift or completely fall apart? The common cause is misaligned values. It is highly likely that there was a breach in values or a complete shift in values.

Every individual has values or rather a value system which is usually played out in how they live their life. Some people are more intentional with their values; they consciously chose their values, while for others it is more subconscious. They may not have chosen their values, but how they operate points to a certain value system. People often portray certain behaviours because of their upbringing or their environment or something that happened to them.

Every single person comes from a home of some kind, a community from which they were brought up in. These communities have certain value systems which we mostly grow up with. However, it reaches a point when you have to individuate. To either chose different values completely if you totally disagree with the values of your upbringing. Or if there are agreeing points then you pick some, and drop some.

It is crucial for you to intentionally chose your values. And not just go with the flow. Values act as a guide even in friendships. There is a sort of automatic path in which your life will take if you chose certain values. You can’t have a habit of taking things that don’t belong to you and then you end up being trusted by people. The value systems clash, they don’t align. Because at the back of people’s minds, they know that it is just a matter of when you get an opportunity to steal, that you will likely steal. Granted, there is room for change but you have to work on your character.

Be very intentional about picking and living according to your core values especially if you want to grow, to become a better person. Sometimes we live life without intentionality and end up in scenarios that we never in a thousand years imagined that we would be in. Not because we are bad people, no. Simply because we made bad choices. And mostly if not, always it is because it was something to do with our value systems. Having a value system that aligns with where you’re going in life, helps you avoid many mishaps in life. Especially the ones that can be avoided.

The reason sometimes we see friendships break, is because values started deteriorating or they just shifted. We want different things. And that’s okay. You want to be in friendships that are like-minded not the ones where you constantly are at loggerheads with each other. Of course, friendships have low moments and up moments, but usually it is not because of values if they are true friendships. It is usually because of life’s storms. This calls for the stronger friend at that time to be present and engaged, of course it goes without saying it should be mutual.

Like-minded friendships don’t mean you are the same people. Absolutely not, every individual is different in their own right. Like-minded friendships just mean you have agreeing points, even in friendships people disagree, it is part of the journey. But you have similarities: similar goals, values etc.


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