Firstborn Chronicles

Home is where our lives begin. It is where we learn to be earlier in our lives. For most homesteads, the firstborn came when the love was new, or rather, when the sex was just getting started. The truth is that most aren’t even planned; they just happen. So you wake up one day and you are holding a snack sweet tooth just like every child. Then your sibling will cry for it because they dropped theirs or they think you got a bigger one. An adult will ask you to give it up so they will stop crying. They will promise to give you another one next time, and next time will never come. So you learn to give it up before you are asked because it hurts less, or you are hoping someone will notice that you are grown up. They never do; instead, they continue to take from you. You will wake up one day, and it will be your clothes or your books; heck, even you’ll be asked to give the better pencil. All this because you are the elder; you are not the child. So you give and give until you have nothing else to give. You start to do it voluntarily because you think it’s the right thing to do. One day you will be an adult and meet someone. Because you don’t know how else to express yourself, you start to give. Your emotions,your time, and your love for all of it. You don’t notice you aren’t getting anything in return because, all your life, you gave and rarely received. So you give and give,even when you have nothing. Then you wake up one day and you are broken because there’s a limit to everything in life. It breaks you, and if you don’t heal from that, it changes you forever. We don’t talk about how much it hurts to find out so late in life that you are different. You don’t ask because you aren’t the “child,” and so you don’t think you’ll get. And you have been told no so many times that your subconscious will do anything to not hear the word “no” one more time.